New class started

Jared and I attended the first class in our 12 week course through NAMI. It's a course designed to help people understand and better deal with a mentally ill friend or family member. It's completely free but you have to make the commitment to be there all 12 weeks for 2.5 hours each week. I think this course is going to be great. It's nice to know that there are others out there who KNOW what I'm going through because they've been there. One of the hardest things for me is I am always feeling like such a horrible mother because I CANNOT control Jake. I take it so personally and I feel very watched and judged by others who see him raging. I am hoping with this course to "get over it!" I can't continue to take his actions or lack of actions, personally. Heck, HE can't even control his emotions, why do I think I can? He's not been on any meds for the last several months and I've not noticed a dramatic improvement or worsening of his symptoms. I'd love to be able to manage him, med free. I hate the unknown side affects and feeling like my child is a guinea pig. PLUS, the stuff doesn't come cheap! I've yet to find a med that really helps anyhow and he's been on 8 different meds in less than 2 years. SO, we're taking a med break. He's doing wonderfully in school. He's a model citizen and very liked there. He never has rages there! He saves it for home, where he's more comfortable letting the Bipolar monster loose! LUCKY US! It is taking it's toll on the family and for that reason alone, I'm very much looking forward to him starting school again on Tuesday!