"Of all the animals, the BOY is the most unmanageable!" ~ Plato



OK, this is pretty gruesome........ Yesterday, as I'm innocently looking at different patterns on strollers I may be purchasing in the near future, Tucker comes downstairs to tell me, "Mom, I think there's a rat or something in the pantry." Since we live in the country, we get the occasional mousy visitor. Usually, we can get rid of them rather quickly. (It's more like teaching them where they ARE and ARE NOT allowed to be) I asked him what made him think there was a mouse? (I assumed it was....) He said that he was hearing some scratching in the pantry (ahh, Jared and I heard something the other night....couldn't tell where it was coming from) AND Tucker said he saw some things in the pantry moving! HUH?!? When I came upstairs and looked into the open pantry door, I immediately saw FULL boxes of heavy foodthings moving A LOT! This was accompanied by a LOUD scratching noise. I yelled for the boys to stay back because, lucky me, I had to move the boxes and see what was waiting for me on the other side. I had, long ago, put down sticky traps by the holes that were in the pantry (Jared made the holes to run wires through) I moved the box and saw a rather large rear end complete with two traps stuck like glue, followed by a tail....no joke, around 7 inches long!!!! HOLY CANOLI! Again, I yelled at my curious boys to get back. I grabbed a big box, emptied it's contents and, ew....grabbed the varmint by the tail. I know from having rats that they are a bit slower moving if you're holding them by the tail. This beast, in my house, was at LEAST 6 inches long! Add the tail and you've got yourself one 13 inch long BEAST! I put it in the box and it immediately started squeezing it's way out. I then grabbed my empty garbage can, emptied the box into that, placed the box firmly on top of the animal, put the whole garbage can IN the tub, shut the shower door, AND the bathroom door and threatened all boys with their very lives if they were even to ATTEMPT to open that door! Now, I've never been afraid of rats but I swear, this thing was pure evil. It looked like it wanted to gnaw my face right off. It even had long, yellow, sharp, teeth and it kept jumping and jumping, trying to escape! YUCK! I then had to take Jon to Boy Scouts and I called Jared to let him know he was very much needed at home. We got home and Tucker tells me the garbage can is missing. I told him, "No, it's in the tub, DON'T GO IN THERE!" What does he do? You guessed it, he goes into the bathroom, flips on the light and opens the shower door. I yell at him (when I see the rat, freed of the traps and jumping like a maniac) to SHUT THE DOOR! Well, like any clueless 8 yr old, he hesitates just long enough for the rat to jump, jump right OUT OF THE TUB! Thank God it didn't jump on him! Of course it ran like a Rat out of H#ll and cannonballed down my stairway! GREAT! Now we have a pony sized rat somewhere in either MY bedroom or the boys bedroom. Tucker was of course in tears because, "I didn't hear you say not to go in there" (He didn't hear it any of the 10+ times I said it since catching the rat) UGH. Luckily, Jared got home right then. I was FLIPPING out like only a psychotic pregnant woman can. I refused to sleep in my house with a vicious animal loose. An animal who has SEEN my face and WILL come looking for me! My knight in shining armor immediately armed himself with a flashlight, pellet gun and pvc pipe and went on a rat hunt, assuring me that all would be well. After about 40 minutes of searching and banging around, my cell rings. He's found it! It was waiting for him in our closet where it pounced on him! EWWW! It was running like a maniac all through my hanging clothes. OH, ICK! And finally, it's little life was snuffed by a walking stick! Please don't be mad at us for killing this creature. He was evil, diseased, very scary.....Here's a pic of the beast....http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0282418/ Tell me, what would YOU have done?


Norm & Debra said...

that was a HILARIOUS story, even though it was so tramatic for you. Deb and I were laughing and laughing and we love the link to the picture of the devil rat :o) hahaha

Dana said...

Glad you thought it was so funny! LOL Actually, now that the beast is out of my house, I can see the humor but at the time. I was ready to move...just leave all belongings and move!