"Of all the animals, the BOY is the most unmanageable!" ~ Plato


I just want to smack them!

My oldest boy, Jon, has this girlfriend. She's really sweet and they are adorable together. I was not super thrilled about him having a girlfriend. He's only 14. BUT, I remember being 14 and having a huge crushes on guys so I didn't want to make him miserable by being one of those moms. PLUS, she lives several cities away and they don't see each other all that much. She's a bit older than him. Just turned 16. I wasn't too happy about that either but I did date guys that were a year behind me in school so I didn't think it was too big of a deal. In a strange coincidence of "it's a small world" her cousin happens to store his trucks and equipment in our field. Gary is a now a friend of my hubbys and you can imagine my surprise when I discovered that Bella did not just celebrate her 16th bday but her 17th!!! Needless to say, I was a bit pissed off with both Jon AND Bella for lying to me! Jon says they did it because they knew I wouldn't want him dating a girl who was nearly 17. So, in all your infinite wisdom......what would YOU do? I don't feel like I can forbid them to date. I think that would make things worse.... but I am SO angry with them for lying to me. I've always told my kids that the truth is far better than lying. The trouble is MUCH less if you tell the truth even if the truth gets you in trouble! UGH! What to do? HELP!


Natalie said...

Oh my! I would not want my 14 year old dating a 17 year old. What do they have in common?
When I was 17 & a junior, almost senior, in high school.. I did not want to be dating a 14 year old who was either in 8th grade or a freshman. I wouldn't want my 14 year old daughter dating someone who was 17 either.
And forbidding the relationship probably won't work.. you could do it, but it won't work. You could put serious limits on it though as far as when & how much they see each other. Especially since they lied to you about her age.

Jeremiah said...

That's a really big age difference at that time in their lives. Don't really know what to say. Usually, forbidding these things doesn't work well but you can't really allow it either. Good luck and (((hugs))))

Jeremiah said...

btw...this is Amie from Boystory signed in under my hubby...

andria said...

When I was in high school, I was a senior and dated a sophomore. He was cute, he liked me, and we did have a lot in common.

In hindsight, I see now that I was more immature at 18 and probably DID have more in common with him because of that immaturity. Maybe his girlfriend is this way.

I think you do need to address the lying though. I don't know how you'd go about it though.

I Am Boymom said...

Wow. A little worrisome, to be sure! Luckily I am a few years away from all of that, my oldest at 9 still thinks girls are kind of weird and icky.

You definitely have to address the lying, the only thing I can think of would be to limit phone calls and time spent together. I'll have to put my thinking cap on for this one to come up with something really emabarrassing for them!

Sarah said...

Hey! Though you were not happy about the relationship in the first place, anyone can see that you were mature and accepting and didn't freak out like most moms might have. So I would imagine that you would have also been accepting (within normal limits) if you had known the truth in the first place.

The whole lying thing throws quite a kink in everything!! What else have they not been honest about? Limiting anything you can limit (in regards to their relationship) sounds like a good place to start.

Though I have NO experience with this and won't for awhile, I wish you all the luck in this world!!!!

Isabella said...

hey it's bella,
i found this blog site on your myspace and decided to join cause my old blog site crashed O.o
couldn't help but notice your post so if you have the time read mine please thanks
- Bella

Nina said...

Ahh I would be freaking out like you are. I don't know what I would do with this. That is a big age difference especially for a 14 year old boy.

angie said...

Oh boy. I would be upset too. I would really be asking myself why in the world a 17 year old girl would want to date a 14 year old boy though?

Looks like the answer just might be on her blog?

coreymom40 said...

The only thing I can add is to keep them close to you. They may think it is real, but differences will show up. It will work it's way out.

To be that young again......wow
It's sweet and painful at the same time. She may think it's real, he thinks it's real...yeah
Tender hearts @ work.

4funboys said...

wow... no fun! much easier when they're little huh?

the issue is telling the truth! good luck

~Sheila~ said...

I don't know. Lying is lying..especially if they planned on lying to you.

I don't know. Do you like the girl any more now? Any less?

Tough call....