"Of all the animals, the BOY is the most unmanageable!" ~ Plato

9.20.2007

No Jake...

He's still in the hospital. I haven't spoken to him since Monday morning. I want to leave it up to him to call me....I'm not sure where he's at mentally so I don't want to push by calling. Apparently, he was told by the school that I wanted him sent to the hospital. That's not exactly how it went down and I am more than a little upset at the school for leading him to believe this. I have to live with him....I can't have him resenting ME for something I didn't do. As of last night when I talked to his social worker, he is convinced that I did this to him. He hates me. Never wants to speak to me again. Still maintains the thoughts that he wishes he had killed himself when he had the chance. I am just heartbroken. I know in my head that he is where he needs to be right now but I can't help but feel like I've lost my child. I feel like I've aged 10 years in just 4 short days. I think I'm going to see him tomorrow. He needs to understand that I didn't do this to him. This happened because of what HE was saying. I am so sad in a strangely peaceful way. The boys are much calmer without Jake and they are starting to be more respectful and obedient. Jake was so defiant. Always ignoring our requests and his forms of discipline. It was such a bad example for the others. Now that the defiant one isn't here, the others aren't as defiant. I think this is what our family needed to heal.......

3 comments:

Sarah said...

((((Dana))))

Kelli said...

Oh Sweetie. I don't have any words, but you are in my prayers.

Melissa said...

Still praying!