Jon's school troubles

Ok, Jon managed to get himself suspended last Friday. I am a bit bothered by the whole reason why. First of all, let me start by saying this is a VERY touchy subject and my son was wrong. He has a friend at school of African American descent (can you see where I'm going?....) He's been friends with this boy for 2 years now and apparently on Friday, he called his friend the "N" word. This coming from my son who has friends of all ethnic backgrounds, a kid who doesn't seem to see people as anything other than people. I asked him what made him think this was an ok word to use and he told me he was just joking around, not trying to be mean. Now, here's the part that frustrates me..... My son used this word because he's heard other African American classmates using it jokingly with each other. He naively thought that this was how this word was used. I feel like it's such a double edged sword because kids hear it in music, on TV, they hear African Americans using it amongst themselves but NOWHERE are they hearing that it's NOT ok for a white person to use this word. I think it's very confusing for kids. I guess maybe it's my fault for not teaching him the importance of NOT using this word but I grew up thinking that people are just people. I don't see them as different colors, I just see....PEOPLE! I think it's really sad that a single word can still cause such a division in people. Jon truly seemed surprised when I told him that the vice principal had called me. He really didn't understand that it was such an off limits word. I wish that word could be rendered powerless. The other kids mom wouldn't even meet with us like the principal had wanted at our Monday morning meeting. WHY?! How does that help? I know that the history here is just horrific and I am saddened by that but me and my family had NOTHING to do with what happened in the past. Heck, for that matter, neither did this other family. Why can't people just move on and realize times have changed. If times have changed, can't people change too? Or is the past too much to let go of? Does holding on give some sort of power? Any thoughts on this? I know it's heavy....